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Broken heart bordello

And every heartbeat felt like this is what we deserve.
She died of some kind of heart disease in 2014, she was.
We exchanged a couple emails, then phone numbers, then decided to meet.Anne and I had already had a "booty call" type of relationship.From performer in the notorious RoXY club and director of the Party Animals videoclips, to songwriter, Amanda Lear interpreter and italo aficionado.She had a car, so I bussed it down to center city, and met her there, and we went and hung out in her neighborhood.The obituary said the burial would be private, and I suspect that her ashes are in someone's house, or were scattered somewhere.Only when certain songs would play(you shook me all night long-AC/DC, Mr Brightside- The Killers).They say time heals all wounds, I dont know how much time this one will take, I just hope it actually heals right this time.Let's call this new girl Anne.Im not in contact with anyone who knew her.I ended up losing my virginity to her, but neither of us caught a lot of feelings, and it turned out to be a short fling.But I can't ever remember being this upset, and this unable to cope, with anyone's death.

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So one day I opened my email, and saw Jackie's screen name, and couldn't have been more excited.All the times my friends had girlfriends, and I didn't, felt like distant memory, I had the greatest girlfriend that had ever existed.I was going to friend her again(I had removed her at some point, surely out of sheer resentment) but noticed she hadn't posted anything since 2014.Since finding this out, all kinds of old feelings have come rushing back, I'm in tears as I type this.I thought maybe she had a new profile, or maybe just left facebook but was on Twitter or Instagram or something.Her background pic says "girls twerk, women headbang".I was now 18 or 19 and was willing to take the 4 hour bus ride to meet her.I cried for months over Jackie, all of the intensity of how good I felt being with her seemed to pale in comparison to how awful it felt to lose her.